Can We Create a More Humane Child-Welfare System? Where Do We Start?

How do children end up in foster care?

One commonly held view is that it they end up there because of abusive, neglectful, or otherwise unworthy biological parents. This is an ideological framework that many people find comforting because it fits with their sense of justice. The failure is seen as a personal, individual failure on the part of flawed parents, who, rightfully, lose their rights. Children in care are perceived as moving from unworthy biological parents to replacement caregivers who are both more capable and more deserving. Children are understood to be benefactors of a benign or even humanitarian system. 

My own impression--formed through reading and experience, including multiple conversations (online and off) with social workers, biological parents, foster and foster-adoptive parents, and foster alumni--is that the reality is a more complex. 

I want to emphasize that I am not giving a pass to abusive parents, biological or otherwise. I am not denying that there are, at times, very real and urgent reasons for children to be removed from unsafe environments. I am not saying that we should throw up our hands and walk away. If even one child has ended up in the system as a result of biological parent abuse, that is one child too many. Child-abuse is always a serious issue, and I am not in any way, shape, or form implying otherwise.

But I also think it's a mistake to assume that abuse of children by biological family members is the the only reason that children end up in foster care, when in reality the reasons are many and complex. Yes, some children do end up in care as a result of abusive or incompetent biological parents. Others end up there because of the actions of a step-parent or live-in partner of the biological parent (even when the non-abusive parent is herself a victim). Other factors include discriminatory practices in society or within the child welfare system and separation of families as a result of immigration laws. And then there are those parents who are unable to provide sufficient food or adequate housing--in other words, parents in poverty:

The single most common factor in families whose children are placed in foster care is not cruelty or rage or sexual perversion; it is poverty. In 2012, about 16 million children in the U.S. lived below the poverty line. Child abuse and neglect occur across all racial, socioeconomic, religious, and cultural lines, yet most children who enter foster care are from impoverished homes. -- Deb Stone, U.S. FOSTER CARE: A FLAWED SOLUTION THAT LEADS TO MORE LONG-TERM PROBLEMS?, May 12 2014

Why does all of this matter? 

As I see it, it matters because the framework we start from dictates the kind of response we create. The framework that currently dominates has lead to a system that is both punitive to parents and ineffective at helping children. What would happen if we started seeing family breakdowns as societal failures rather than individual ones? 

I have various ideas, and I'll be talking more about my social-change wish list in future posts, but I'd also love to hear from you. What's your vision for creating a more humane child-welfare system?

Images courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Children's Rights

Please take a few moments to watch the above video. It was created by the national watchdog organization Children's Rights and is a powerful portrayal of the painful struggles endured by many in the foster system.

Children's Rights is an organization that supports reunification and kinship care when possible, while simultaneously acknowledging that permanency through adoption is usually preferable to extended foster care when reunification or kinship placement are not viable options:

When children must be removed from their families because of abuse or neglect, the most desirable outcome usually is for their families to be safely reunified if their problems can be resolved. If reunification fails, child welfare systems must be prepared to move quickly to find them permanent alternative homes — usually through adoption. — childrensrights.org

The video is poignant to me for personal reasons because I recognize my daughter in the words of the participants, especially when they speak of being over-medicated. When Ashley joined our family by way of the foster system at age 8 she was like them, struggling to keep her eyes open as a result of all the medication she had been prescribed. One of the drugs she was taking had some potentially serious side effects and had to be approved by a judge in order for her to take it. The judged approved it; neither her first mother nor I would ever have done so! In foster care she was in limbo, with no mama-bear advocate on her side. Happily, we were able to wean her off all of the medications fairly quickly once she was placed with us, with nothing but positive effects as a result of their discontinuation.

This post was originally published at Lost Daughters.